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Monday, February 15

The real Gerardo...the one I choose not to see!

Why didn't I see the game? He is playing the victim caused he knew how to get at me...he was already cheating and had the nerve to put it this way...just remember... THE BEST PART OF WHAT GOES AROUND IS....IT COMES BACK AROUND! DO NOT WONDER OR ASK WHY, THE DAY SOMEONE DOES THE SAME TO YOU! PAYBACK IS DEFINATELY A BITCH! From: GG Sent: Wednesday, January 27, 2010 3:30 PM To: Me Subject: WHY DONT JUST QUIT THE CRAP AND TELL ME HOW YOU REALLY FEEL! Should I always wonder? Should I always wait? Should I always keep my mouth shut for being afraid of what I might say? Should I push it? Should I hold on? Should I give up and fuck it all? Should allow my self to be play? Should I alllow my self to regret and blame my self again? Should allow self to think with anything else but my head? Should I change? Should be different or should I be the same? Should I cry? Should I get depress? And allow my self to became a big mess! Should I drink? should I smoke?, Should I do meth? Should I coke?. Should I keep trying to walk?, Should I keep trying to talk?. WHAT SHOULD I? GSG-Marquez. My direct plain answer… I am sad and hurt, because I love you and care for you, with my flaws and all, my love for you is unique and just like you said, 6 months of ups and downs but I wouldn’t change it for anything. I feel hurt because you have misunderstood me caring for manipulation, when the bottom line is, after 6 months of ups and downs, of you walking out on me, with me going through emotional distress, with you going through your psych issues…I’m still here, trying to understand and trying to keep you from hurting yourself. Like Richard said, if we love each other then we need to stop playing games and fully love one another. I am as guilty as you are and I just like you, wonder what should I do next? It’s hurts me like a knife to my heart, every time you walked out on me. Many times I felt like saying fuck it, leave then, but something inside of me push me against behaving like that, but one thing is for sure, it’s becoming less and less painful every time it happens. What should you do? Be honest with yourself and with each other. Put everything on the balance and if it’s worth it then take my hand and lets walk along the journey that lays ahead of us, learning with each other, supporting each other, trusting each other, being a shoulder when needed, being the strength when falling down, lifting one another up to reach the highest stars, specially being honest about what can be done and what can’t. Get the proper medical help, whether you stay with me or not, I want the best for you and it hurts me to see you give up on yourself, hurts me that after 6 months, we still deal with the running away method…if you can’t do something alone…as for help, it doesn’t mean you are not intelligent, smart or weak, we are humans. Learn to talk, express your thoughts, you have an amazing creativity, a talent in your hands, a warm personality, a heart that can produce as much love as it does hate, love attracts people, hate pushes them away. I understand your past, and it scars it left you, but even the deepest scar will eventually heal and disappeared. You are the only one with the power to change your present and create the future of your choice…if you can’t do it alone…admit it and let yourself be helped. II think you are worth of a great future, I think you deserve the best and I believe you can do it, but do you believe it too, do you think you are worth it? I am here babe, with my flaws and all, hoping to walk along with you hand in hand, but you can’t keep saying mean things when you are upset, I know you don’t mean them, but as much as I love you, I will not allow myself to be dragged down. Am I willing to stick up for you and be there for you? Yes, in a second…to me you are worth a million stars and more, and that is because I truly love you!

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