In Need Of Guidance!

Mauro, Okay, so I got your text message and here is my input. I will not tell you what to do. I do not know the dynamics of your relationship so its really tough for me to give you adequate input. Instead of feeding you a bunch of bull I will give you some insights that I have to learn along the way that have helped me in my relationships. 1. A relationship should complement your life-not complicate it. With this said, a relationship should be a collaborative effort. If you ever feel like being in the relationship is more frustrating than being single AFTER having discussed your problems and concerns with the other half then it is a sure fire indication that this relationship may be a poor investment of your emotional well being as well as your time. 2. Trust is a big issue. If you do not trust the person for whatever reason, realize that 90% of the time the trust is not going to be rebuilt. Many people say that they are willing to work on rebuilding the foundations of a relationship but are unwilling to tailor their behavior to reflect that opinion. 3. Realize that in the end, you will get over it. In the beginning of a break up you will feel down and out. You will feel like a rug that is getting trampled on, however, don't use that as an excuse to sulk. Pick yourself up. Realize that you are a stronger person because of the experiences that you have endured. Besides, every break up sucks, but its not how you fall that counts but rather how you pick yourself up. 4. Dont play the break up-get back together game, the break game, or any of that garbage. It shows a lack of respect for the relationship, the other person's feelings, and their well being by putting them in "gray" area where they are single but not. If you are on the receiving end of this then you should realize that this situation is convenient to the person condoning it and it places the other person in an emotionally vulnerable position. 5. If the person is disrespectful don't even waste your time dealing with it. In the case of the text that you showed me its not cool to talk like that to anyone you care about. If he is continually speaking to you in that manner the best thing to do is to not put yourself through that. Don't mingle with it, don't waste your time on it. Realize that this is a sign of a lack of fundamental respect and maturity. You need someone who is better than that. Mauro, in breaking up with someone it always hurts when you love them but I think that honesty has always been the best policy. Make a decision with your head and follow through with it. When you follow your heart after you've been emotionally torn down its easy to say one thing and do another. Think it through RATIONALLY and then behave accordingly. Just tell them how you feel and set boundaries for the way that you wish to be treated. If the person does not agree with your terms and no compromise is possible then there is nothing that you can really do aside from hugging it out, agreeing to remain respectful towards each other, and moving on. It will suck for a month or two but start going out, keep busy, and you will see that 2 months from now you will be able to look back on this situation without any of the emotional burden that you are carrying. I hope that this helps, honestly. Let me know if you need anything. Your friend, Pier